Dateline Goliad Texas
As continued severe cold weather threatens Texas residents, out-of-state Snowbirds are especially at risk.
State authorities report large groups of them (often called “Winter Texans”) have been seen milling about aimlessly clutching their bright copper kettles in their warm woolen mittens. Some are even reported have snowflakes that stay on their nose and eyelashes.
Many of them are complaining of
- frozen water lines
- frozen water pumps
- cold noses
- severe shortage of hot rum mix
One Texas state Disaster official was quoted as saying ” it’s their own damn fault. Every last one of them is packing an ice maker. What do they expect?” He was also quoted as saying there are so many shivering fools out there” that if it didn’t warm up soon we’re fixin’ to take away their ice makers “for their own damn good”.
He closed by saying “even though their dollar is dropping like a rock, we surely do appreciate every depreciated dollar they leave in this fine state of Texas. We thank them all for coming.”
Prominent Democrats were quick to remind everyone how the Texans voted in Federal elections while prominent Republicans cite the current crisis as “just one more example of our failed Obama Care”
Federal officials looking on are hoping the weather improves “in the next few days” so this crisis can be averted.
Meanwhile, near frozen snowbirds nervously sip their tonics and gin.
Spread your tiny wings and fly away
And take the snow back with you
Where it came from on that day-Anne Murray