Snowbirds Lives Threatened!

Dateline Goliad Texas

As continued  severe cold weather threatens Texas residents, out-of-state  Snowbirds are especially at risk.

State authorities report large groups of them (often called “Winter Texans”) have been seen milling about aimlessly clutching their bright copper kettles in  their warm woolen mittens. Some are even reported  have snowflakes that stay on their nose and eyelashes.

Many of them are complaining of

  • frozen water lines
  • frozen water pumps
  • cold noses
  • severe shortage of hot rum mix

 

There was even a 911 from a little old lady from Pasadena  saying “Help! My poop tank is frozen and I gotta go real bad”

One  Texas state Disaster official was quoted as saying ” it’s their own damn fault. Every last one of them is packing an ice maker. What do they expect?” He was also quoted as saying there are so many shivering fools out there” that if it didn’t warm up soon we’re fixin’  to take away their ice makers “for their own damn good”.

He closed by saying “even though their dollar is dropping like a rock, we surely do appreciate every depreciated dollar they leave in this fine state of Texas. We thank them all for coming.”

Prominent Democrats were quick to remind everyone how the Texans voted in Federal elections while prominent Republicans cite the current crisis as “just one more example of our failed Obama Care”

Federal officials looking on are hoping the weather improves “in the next few days” so this crisis can be averted.

Meanwhile, near frozen snowbirds nervously sip their tonics and gin.

Spread your tiny wings and fly away
And take the snow back with you
Where it came from on that day
-Anne Murray

 

2 thoughts on “Snowbirds Lives Threatened!

  1. It’s a pleasant two degrees here at the Ponderosa. *chortle*

    I’ve never been a big fan of them “mobile” ice makers.
    Vindicated.

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