Yesterday was my day for a root canal. I’ve never had one before and had no idea what to expect. Oh sure, I’d heard all the jokes like”no thanks, I’d rather have a root canal“.

When I was a young lad we had a root cellar on the farm and I grew up on A&W Root Beer (they always had the hot car-hops;remember INEZ?). Grimsby is only a few miles from the world famous(before you press the upcoming link, be ready for the horn) Welland Canal so I understand all the words, just not together.

Yesterday I learned the true meaning.

I’m early for my 10AM appointment. I’m shown into his office/work area/broom closet and seated.As I look at his equipment I remember the terror of my first ever visit to a dentist 60 years ago. He has the exactly the same equipment. First he freezes my mouth. That’s good. Then he tells me what will happen and explains “no pain”. That’s good too.

Away we go with the heavy equipment to clear the way for the big job. An Xray, then a couple of sticks of dynamite and now we’re ready to go deep. I can’t feel a thing while he digs away in my mouth. Strangely though all I can think about is Tequila and I don’t like tequila. Now I’m thinking about sending out his assistant for a bottle of the good stuff so he and I can share while he works. After all, I’ve placed my entire life in the hands of this gentleman.

He’s going deeper and deeper, I casually wonder if he’s going to take my credit card out of my pocket from the inside. He explains that I have healthy teeth with very long roots so it is taking longer. I now understand why the big toe on my right foot has been uncontollably moving up and down.

Finally, we have finished the excavation and the removal of all the old wires and cables. There must have been a mess of them. Next we fill the holes. Soon his assistant arrives with another wheel barrow full of what appear to be large(bowling ball size) balls of sand. He continues to work in my mouth as I hear another dump truck back into place.

We are almost done. This truck has hot ashphalt, a temporay finish until I get crowns(next monday). With smoke (from the pavement) still curling out of my mouth he stands back and gazes at his work.

I, mistakenly, think he’s finished. He dives back in. I think this trip is to install the traffic islands and gutters. Now he stands back and smiles. We are done.

I swear that’s exactly what happened, Or maybe there was something special in the anisthesia. Either way, it was 2 hours well spent. As I left his office he advised me that for any minor discomfort I should take 2 Pacifico or 2 tequila or both.

I gave him his 2500 pesos and bid adios