Do you remember, when you were a little kid, you do remember right?
Remember that time when your mom and dad got a new fridge?
Remember how excited you were when you got to play with that amazingly huge cardboard box? Yeah, did you make a fort too? Did you invite all your friends (but not your sister) into your new fort to play?
I got really excited! Marilyn got really excited! Angel didn’t even wake up.
But this time I didn’t even think about making a fort because I knew that what was inside was going to make us some beautiful, delicious red nectar of the gods.
You see, inside was a couple of bags of grape juice, Shiraz grape juice to be exact, along with a few envelopes of chemicals and a bag of oak chips.
So I carefully took the concentrate, chemicals and oak chips out of my cardboard box, put it all in my new Fast Ferment and stirred and stirred ( this is a job for my cordless drill). Then I added some yeast, closed it all up so no unwelcome germs or microbes or friendly neighbors could get in to mess it all up.
In about 10 days from now I will check the specific gravity (I just threw that in so you would think “that Larry is obviously extremely intelligent to be able to toss around words like “specific” and “gravity”, both in the same sentence.)
Within about 4 or 5 weeks me and my trusty assistant wine master Marilyn will bottle our delicious nectar and soon after that (like within a couple of minutes) we be tasting and congratulating ourselves of what a great job we did. At least that’s what we usually do, Sometimes though, If I get the recipe wrong then we spit the wine out into the sink or if I really screwed up we vomit (same sink). But we do it together and it all turns out fairly romantic either way.
Assuming I’ve done it all right we carefully place all the bottles on their sides in our wine rack pictured below .
Then we let the new wine age for an extremely long time period (usually about an hour), then pop a cork and celebrate. Then after the second bottle we play with the cardboard box just like the good old days.
“If I ever go missing I want my picture put on wine bottles. instead of milk cartons. That way my friends will know to look for me